What does Valentines Day mean for you?

Being February, In the spirit of Valentines day, I've decided to pour out my feelings and thoughts surrounding it.

Being someone who has never actually celebrated the day, I always ponder whether or not I genuinely care about it, or if I've been 'brainwashed' into thinking it's important by our capitalist society in another bid to empty out the pockets of poor men who are buried under societal pressured to spoil their women.

Just kidding. I could never think this. But I do wonder if society has subconsciously made me feel that if I have some sort of love interest it's imperative to celebrate the day.

Back in my pick-me days, I remember saying things like 'Oh I don't care about that day it's just a waste of money' and 'It's an opportunity for people to compete against each other about who has the best significant other'. I cringe every time I think about it because why did I ever have an issue with having a day where I would be appreciated and made to feel special?

Now that I think about it, I feel like it was some sort of defence mechanism to prevent disappointment if my S/O didn't 'believe' in the day or didn't want to celebrate. I also grew up having very little expectations of people because I was constantly being disappointed, so I feel like I put that wall up to prevent myself having high standards or hopes. But let me stop there while I'm ahead.

I won't negate the fact that for many - especially in the day of social media - Valentine's day is an opportunity to show off their significant other and what they've received, a day that those in secret relationships are uncovered, and a day that forbidden romances are revealed. However, despite these disappointing truths and the commercialist aspect, Valentines day is a beautiful opportunity to acknowledge your love for someone and show that you appreciate them.

Two things can be true at once.

You don't NEED to fly out to a romantic city and have an expensive candlelit dinner - although those things are nice and I feel like everyone deserves to experience something like that at least once in their life - it can simply be something intentionally done to make you feel special. Like flowers delivered to your work, or being surprised with a picnic or a home-cooked meal. For the lucky ones, everyday may feel like valentines day, but that doesn't mean you should pretend that the day doesn't exist - especially as it causes no harm.

This may be controversial, but I don't feel like Valentine's day should be limited to those in relationships and for those with love interests. The concept of a 'galentines' and fathers getting their daughters tokens of love is so beautiful.

Valentine's day is just a symbol of love and can be celebrated by anyone, so there's no need to feel lonely or left out if you don't have an intimate relationship with someone. And if you like romantic gestures and celebrating a day like the 14th Feb, then bask in that. Don't dim your expectations because you want to appear a certain way to your partner, because not only are you preventing yourself being loved fully, but you're also setting the tone regarding how you want to be treated in your relationship.

Spend time with your loved ones if you can, your time will come eventually.