2016-2020 were the years for full glam and excessive everything. 2021 welcomed the beginning of the clean girl aesthetic, and 3 years later, it is still going strong. In and out have come different and less prominent trends; but ultimately the girlies are finding their niches, their communities, and getting into their bags. Whether this be the 'alt' scene, the 'fairy/crystal girl' aesthetic, the renown 'bbl' aesthetic or the 'clean/natural' girl look, there has been more diversity in the types of women that we are seeing these days.
For black women, these trends don't exactly work the same ways. Yes, we absolutely partake in them, and I love that my sisters are finding their safe spaces and doing what makes them comfortable, but a lot of times these trends weren't brought to prominence with us in mind - despite them being started by us in the first place. We always adapt and change and tweak whatever trend has been brought back in style.
I say all this to say, it can be difficult to find where you fit in whilst everything is constantly changing. Being unsure of where you fit in terms of style, beauty and fashion - can be difficult but also cause dysmorphia because you don't actually know what the real you is. You're so lost in trying to emulate the general standard, that fear of not being desired is preventing you from trying new things. Beauty (unfortunately) is capital, and many of us don't want to experiment or stray away from the standard because we know that is what works, that is what reaps the most benefits and overall it is easier to conform than it is to stray.
I am guilty of this. I've played it safe for most of my life, doing the makeup everyone else does (even though it isn't one size fits all), doing the hairstyles everyone else does and wearing the same clothes.
The goal isn't originality; is that even a thing anymore? It's finding your place and where you fit in a certain beauty space. As black women, we are not a monolith, and we need to stop behaving as such. We need the black girls who don't care at all as much as we need the black girls that care too much. We need the black girls who have three fried strands of hair as much as we need the black girls with the 30-inch jet black bussdown.
For me, I have decided that 2024 is the year that I am going to let go of the standard that has held me down for the entirety of my adult life. I want to see my beauty from a new perspective, the same way that I admire and find such beauty in the natural hair girlies.
I want to find genuine beauty in myself the same way I see beauty in them.
I have set a goal for myself this year - no wigs for one year. I will allow sew-ins (is that cheating?) because it is a style that I have never tried before, but if I do then the hair will be yaki or textured straight.
My natural hair will be a huge focus, and mini twists are going to be my best friend this year.
Natural hair goals for 2024:
Get hair braided without gel because it really isn't healthy for the scalp and reduces the longevity of the hair.
Have thick and damage free curls, that are fully defined. I'll worry about length after.
Find the products that work the best for my hair
Do a successful 'wash n go'.
Go on a night out with my natural hair
SLICK MY HAIR. By the grace of God
Is it cheeky if I get another silk press when that is what caused my damage in the first place?
I want my natural hair to be the go to, and not dread having it out. It just needs adequate TLC.